theater needs to be more visceral. if I wanted to be unscathed and clean by the time I left the theater I would watch a damn movie. I’m attending a play I want actors jumping into the audience. I want a three row splash zone from the stage where you’re guaranteed to be hit by flying blood. I want some bastard to jump off the stage and grab me by the shoulders and SCREAM like what is this a fucking cinemark. I’m watching a play TOUCH ME release live rats in the theater. And then lock the doors
A TikTok from maddiehen02 showing a woman with the text on screen reading “I BOUGHT MY BOYFRIEND HIS DREAM TOY”
[TRANSCRIPT] “It’s here. If you guys know my boyfriend, you know that he loves LEGOs. But for years, and years, and years, he’s always wanted to buy: the Star Wars LEGO seven thousand six hundred pieces (it’s huge!) millennium falcon.
Yeah. Yeah, who’s a good girlfriend? Who’s a good girlfriend?!
I’ve been wanting to get him this for a really really really really really long time because I know he’s really wanted it, and he’s never bought it because it was super expensive; but I did it.And it’s right outside that door. (huffs & puffs) It’s a big ol’ thing. (screeches) So now let’s get his reaction.”
[GF is behind the camera with BF in view] “I got you a surprise.” “Is this like, some box and there’s a spider, and then-” “No.” “-you do that thing?” “No.”“What is it? It says LEGO- BRO THIS IS HEAVY, MAN!”
[BF grunts as he cuts open the tape]
“Do you have any idea what it is?” “yes-No… potentially- it says LEGO, this is exciting! Alright-”
[BF slams the box open and turns it to read what it says] “HUUH? Wai-woah, woah, woah, wait, is this the Big One?” “yeah” “THIS IS THE BIG ONE?” “Yeah” “THIS. IS. THE BIG ONE?!” “Yeah.” “LIKE THE SEVEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED FORTY PIECE ONE?!” “Yeah!” “REALLY?!”“YEAH!” “NO WAY, this is stupid- zero- OH MY-” [BF kicks the empty box and starts sprinting around the house, screaming]
“WHO GOT IT? I GOT IT! WHO GONNA BUILD IT? I GONNA BUILD IT! IN ONE DAY!
Alright, can I start? Now. THIS is the booklet! OH MY GOSH.This is actually nuts, this is actually n-”
[Camera cuts to BF hugging GF with GF on screen] “thank you…” “Are you happy?” “yeah :)” “Are you excited to build it?” “yeah?”
